Children’s authors play a pivotal role in bringing young minds on imaginative journeys. They do this by shaping the adventures and creating a want-to-read story arc and character arc. In other words, children’s authors create a story that kids want to jump into and connect with. But while creating a ‘great read’ for kids, the children’s writer needs to practice writing with clarity. The young reader must be able to easily follow along – to get what’s going on. The story needs understandability in order for the reader to get the whole experience, including the takeaway value. One common stumbling block to clarity and understandability is head hopping. This term refers to the abrupt shifts in perspective from one character's thoughts and emotions to another within a single scene or chapter, often without clear transitions. While this technique can add depth and variety to storytelling, it’s another story when writing for children and should be approached with caution. Taking a Look at Ineffective Use of Head hopping To illustrate the potential pitfalls of head hopping in children's writing, below is a scenario involving two characters, Sally and Tim, exploring a mysterious forest. Sally tiptoed through the dense underbrush; her heart pounded with excitement. Tim, lagging behind, couldn't shake off the feeling of unease. Sally hoped this would be an excellent adventure, but Tim just wanted to get out of there. His thoughts were focused on the strange sounds coming from the underbrush. In this example, the sudden shift from Sally's perspective to Tim's and back to Sally's and Tim’s again can confuse young readers. Kind of like this sentence. 😊 And it’s important to note that even experienced authors can slip into head hopping without realizing it. So, What Problems Can Head hopping Cause? 1. Confusion for Young Readers: Head hopping can lead to confusion as young readers may struggle to keep track of multiple perspectives within the same chapter. This will put a damper on their ability to engage with the story. 2. Difficulty Establishing Empathy: Children often connect more deeply with characters when they can understand and empathize with their thoughts and emotions. Head hopping may dilute this connection, making the young reader less likely to become fully invested in any character. 3. Disruption of Narrative Flow: Abrupt shifts between characters' perspectives can disrupt the overall flow of the narrative, causing a disjointed reading experience that may lead to frustration or disinterest. Think of Sally and Tim’s ‘forest’ scenario above. Sally’s excited. Tim is scared. One problem that will arise from this type of writing is who is the reader to connect with. Another is how the reader will grasp who’s telling the story. And with such different perspectives, what’s the reader to feel? 4. Inconsistency in Tone and Voice: Head hopping can result in inconsistencies in the tone and voice of the narrative. Each character should have a distinct voice and manner of thinking, and abrupt shifts can blur these distinctions. Think again of Sally and Tim. 5. Loss of Focus on the Main Plot: Excessive head hopping may divert attention from the main plot, as readers may become preoccupied with keeping track of various characters' perspectives rather than following the central storyline. Any distractions or pauses in the reader will not be a good thing. 6. Cognitive Strain on Young Minds: Children's cognitive abilities are still developing, and constant shifts in perspective can strain their ability to process information. This may lead to a less enjoyable reading experience. 7. Challenges in Character Development: Effective character development requires a deep look at the main character’s perspective. Head hopping will likely limit the depth of character development, as authors may not spend enough time delving into each character's unique experiences and growth. 8. Potential for Disconnect with the Audience: Children's literature is often characterized by its simplicity and clarity. Head hopping may alienate young readers, causing them to feel disconnected from the characters and the story. 9. Impact on Reading Comprehension: Shifts in perspective can impact a child's ability to comprehend the story. Young readers are just getting their reading sea legs and may struggle to understand the cause-and-effect relationships between the characters' actions and the overall plot. 10. Risk of Stereotyping Characters: Head hopping without careful consideration may result in stereotyping characters, as authors may unintentionally reinforce gender, culture, or other stereotypes through inconsistent portrayals. Getting a Handle on Head Hopping If you’re writing for the middle-of-the-road and upper-middle-grade, there are effective alternatives to having more than one point of view. One option is to change perspectives at chapter breaks and clarify whose point of view is taking over. A good rule of thumb to follow as a children’s writer: Head hopping and more than one point of view should be avoided in young children’s writing. This includes chapter books and simple (young) middle grade. When switching points of view, write with care and remember your audience’s age and capacities.
I’m a working children’s ghostwriter, editor, and coach. I can help turn your story into a book you’ll be proud to be the author of, one that’s publishable and marketable.
OTHER HELP I OFFER:
HOW TO WRITE A CHILDREN’S FICTION BOOK
A DIY book to help you write your own children’s book.
PICTURE BOOK AND CHAPTER BOOK COACHING
Four to ten-week coaching programs.
WRITERS ON THE MOVE PRESS
Self-publishing help for children’s authors.
You can contact me at: kcioffiventrice@gmail.com. Or give me a call at 347—834—6700. (Please leave a message- I’ll get back to you as soon as I can.)