Vin Scully, a baseball announcer in the radio era, was famous for using description and adjectives to paint a picture with words.
As a radio announcer, his job was to bring the at-home audience into the ballpark. He let them hear the crack of the bat and the yelling fans. His job to grab hold of the listeners' senses by describing the excitement, the anticipation, the action, the smells, and sights.
Well, with writing, you need to use the same strategies.
Like the radio announcers in the radio era, a book writer (for middle grade and up) doesn't have the visual advantage that TV, movies, and videos have.
ADD DETAILS TO YOUR SCENE
One way Scully got the job done was by adding details to the scene.
Broadcaster Bob Costa quoted Scully’s announcement of the Sandy Koufax perfect game in 1965f. “On the scoreboard in right field, it is 9:46 p.m. in the City of the Angels, Los Angeles, California. And a crowd of 29,139 just sitting in to see the only pitcher in baseball history to hurl four no-hit, no-run games.” (1)
Scully brought his audience into the ballpark.
Another example of adding details might be if you need to describe a run-down, sinister house:
Cracked shingles hung on the dingy grey house. Chipped paint and broken shutters added to its eerie aura.
This paints a picture.
Stephen King advises to “leave in details that impress you the most strongly: leave in the details you see the most clearly; leave everything else out.”
Going back to the sinister house, maybe a few windows were broken. Perhaps the front door was off its hinges, and some stepping stones leading to it were missing.
The details could go on and on.
But are they all necessary?
Choose what you think is most important. Choose what you think will give the reader the picture you want to paint.
And keep in mind that the reader will use his imagination to fill in what you don’t.
USE THE POWER OF OBSERVATION
Scully’s second strategy was “the power of observation to build suspense.”
To do this, you need to notice what’s happening in your story. You need to see everything in the scene. Then decide what you want to convey. What will pull on the emotional strings of the reader?
To build emotion during the 1956 World Series when Don Larsen pitched the perfect game against the Brooklyn Dodgers, Scully said that Yankee Stadium was “shivering in its concrete foundation.”
Lucas slammed his body against the chain-link fence and pressed hard, trying to get a better look. Or, more so, wishing he could press hard enough into the fence to intermingle with the particles so he could miraculously pass through it.
Through the power of observation, the reader can feel the suspense. The reader knows that Lucas desperately wants to be on the other side of the fence.
At this point, the reader may not know why, but they can feel his desperation.
In John Muir’s Lesson Plan for Observation and Descriptive Writing, he says, “Observational writing uses the senses to convey details through descriptive words.”
This writing tool allows the reader to picture and even feel what the author is conveying.
Whether you use details or observational writing, sprinkling your story with metaphors, similes, and simple adjectives will help the reader connect with your story. It will bring the reader into it.
Reference: (1) Perfect Eloquence: An Appreciation of Vin Scully (compiled by Tom Hoffarth in 2024).
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