The New Year

2020 gave us a run for our money. It devastated lives. It turned our world upside down.

While it’s great to see it behind us, uncertainty, fear, and illness is still ahead of us in the New Year.

Yes, we learned a lot over the last nine months, but there’s still so much we don’t know.

What we’ll all need is perseverance and resilience. A writer who is also a psychologist, Dr. Valerie Allen, has some advice. I hope it helps you get through 2021.

The Bounce Back Kid

By Dr. Valerie Allen

We are resilient! We all have a natural ability to start over. We can recover after loss and rejection. We can find happiness after emotional despair. Those who successfully pull themselves up and out of a dark place in their lives engage in the following behaviors.

Adaptability: They are socially responsive. They are flexible and develop the ability to adapt to change, to “go with the flow.” They develop an ability to take things in stride and not over react or
become distraught in response to a change in plans or circumstances. No high drama for these folks!

Reflection: They develop a high tolerance for frustration. They come to understand their trigger points, those people and events that set them off emotionally. They try to avoid frustrating situations and attempt to minimize negative outcomes. No grinding their teeth!

Problem Solving: They learn to consider alternatives before making decisions. They seek solutions and view problems as an opportunity to be a creative thinker. They become secure enough to avoid “finger pointing” and the need to find fault and blame others. No hand twisting for them!

Self Esteem: They develop “self love” and a “can do” attitude. They have survived experiences that called for self-efficacy, which built a strong sense of self-confidence. They realize they make mistakes and things often don’t go as expected. They understand it’s not the situation, but how it’s handled that validates them as worthy, successful individuals. No headaches allowed!

Optimism: They developed a positive worldview. They have a good feeling about themselves, others, and life in general. They expect good things to happen and when they do, they recognize them. They are future directed. They expect to succeed and live accordingly. No whining from these people!

Warmth and Affection: They feel comfortable demonstrating affection. They are able to give and accept sincere compliments. They consider physical touch a positive and caring gesture. No giving the cold shoulder to others!

Responsibility: They are dependable. They do their best, keep their word, and follow up on promises. They understand others are depending on them. They’re validated and find comfort in a sense of belonging. No excuses to avoid their obligations!

Social Involvement: They are involved with others and their community. They extend themselves through social activities, service to others, and caring for friends and family. They live beyond meeting their own needs and give to others socially, emotionally, and financially. No hiding from others!

Learning Experiences: They seek and enjoy learning new things. Formal education is viewed as an opportunity for growth and enrichment. Casual learning takes place in their day-to-day experiences, which provides them with practical knowledge of the world around them. No thinking they know it all!

To find inner peace, we must come to understand the only certainty is change. We must adapt to survive physically, mentally, and emotionally. We must seek harmony with the world in which we live.

Wishing Everyone A Safe and Peaceful New Year!

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