Children are simple readers. If a story doesn’t work for them, they won’t struggle through it; they’ll stop listening, stop reading, or ask for a different book.
For children’s authors, this means every choice matters. From the opening line to the final page, missteps can quickly push young readers away.
Here are ten common ways children’s writers lose readers and how to avoid them.
1. Starting Too Slowly
Children’s attention spans are short. If your story spends too much time setting the scene or explaining background, young readers will lose interest before the plot begins.
Start with action, curiosity, or a problem. You can add details and backstory later.
This doesn’t mean you need an action-packed or do-or-die beginning. It means to avoid slow beginnings. Bring your reader into the story at the get-go.
One of my favorite examples of a story beginning that grabs the reader is from “The Pea in the Peanut Butter,” a self-published book by Allyn M. Stotz.
“I love the super, duper, gummy, yummy, sticky lickin’, and belly rubbin’ taste of peanut butter. “If Mommy would let me, I’d spread it on hot dogs, fish sticks, chips, and pancakes.”
How fun and grabbing is that?
2. Writing Above (or Below) the Age Level
Using vocabulary, sentence length, or themes that don’t match your target age group is a fast way to disconnect from readers. A picture book that sounds like a textbook, or one that talks down to children, won’t hold attention.
Know your audience and write specifically for them.
3. Overloading the Story with Description
Children’s books rely on movement and clarity, not lengthy descriptions, especially in picture books, where much of the description is conveyed through illustrations.
Paragraphs or chapters filled with visual detail that don’t advance the story can stall the narrative’s momentum.
4. Weak, Confusing, or Too Many Characters
If readers don’t understand who the main character is or what he wants, they won’t care what happens next. Children need clear motivations and emotions they can relate to.
A character who feels unrealistic, flat, or inconsistent is easy to give up on and forget. And too many characters are just as bad as weak or confusing characters.
The younger the audience, the fewer characters there should be. Young readers won’t be able to keep track of who’s who if there are too many.
Another tidbit is not to start the characters’ names with the same letter, such as James, Jordon, Jillian. I have a client who named a character Otto, and he had otters mentioned in the story several times. This can be confusing to a young reader.
Character names are important. They need to be unique, easy to read, and easy to pronounce for the young audience.
5. Hitting the Reader Over the Head With the Message
Children’s stories can teach lessons, but when the message becomes obvious or heavy-handed, readers tune out. Kids want a story first. They get enough lectures at home and in school.
If the moral of the story overshadows the plot, the book feels more like a lecture than an adventure.
6. Too Much Telling, Not Enough Showing
Explaining how a character feels instead of showing it through action and dialogue weakens engagement. For example, saying “Wang was scared” is less effective than showing Wang jumping behind a cluster of bushes and trembling while he hides. Showing invites readers into the story.
Example: John’s book bag was too heavy. (Telling) John jerked his shoulder, putting his book bag back in place. “If they give me one more book to take home, I’m going on strike!” (Showing)
7. Ignoring Rhythm and Read-Aloud Flow
Many children’s books are read aloud. Awkward phrasing, clunky sentences, or inconsistent rhythm can disrupt the engagement.
How the text sounds in your head usually differs from how it sounds when read aloud. Reading it aloud helps identify awkward phrasing or a "stumbling" rhythm.
If a book isn’t a smooth read, adults and children will lose interest quickly.
8. Lack of Conflict or Stakes
A story without a meaningful problem feels empty. Children need something to root for: a challenge to overcome, a mistake to fix, or a goal to reach. Without tension or stakes, there’s no reason to keep turning the pages.
As a children’s ghostwriter and rewriter, I see this a lot. Many new authors create a series of events rather than a story with a plot and conflict.
9. Overcomplicating the Plot
Too many subplots, characters, or ideas can overwhelm young readers. Young children, especially those transitioning into chapter books, need simplicity to achieve reading wins.
A focused, clear storyline is far more engaging than a crowded one.
10. Forgetting to Revise
First drafts are rarely reader-ready. Skipping revision means missed opportunities to tighten language, strengthen pacing, catch plot holes, and clarify meaning.
Children’s books may be short, but they require careful, intentional revision to work well.
Summing It Up
Keeping children engaged isn’t about flashy language or complex ideas; it’s about clarity, connection, and respect for the young reader.
When writers focus on storytelling that fits the audience and serves the story, readers will finish the story and come back for more.
I’m a working children’s ghostwriter, rewriter, and coach. I can help turn your story into a book you’ll be proud to be the author of, one that’s publishable and marketable.
