Contributed by Suzanne Lieurance
A few mistakes in your fiction can often make the difference between a very good manuscript and a not-so-good one that is rejected by publishers.
Below are just three of the most common mistakes in fiction that I see day after day as a writing instructor and writing coach:
1) Overuse of participle phrases to begin a sentence.
A participle phrase usually begins with a word that ends in the letters “ing.”
There is nothing wrong with beginning a sentence with a participle phrase.
But when you do it too often, it begins to draw attention to itself and distract the reader from the action of the story.
Reaching behind her, Mary grabbed her backpack and ran straight for the woods. Pushing branches and tangled vines out of her way, she was able to find the foot path. But a snake was stretched out across it. Turning around quickly and searching for another way through the forest, she suddenly heard someone call out her name.
Notice how clunky that sounds.
When you finish writing a story, go back over it and circle all the sentences that begin with a participle phrase.
If you have several of these phrases on each and every page, change most of them.
Mary reached behind her and grabbed her backpack, then she ran straight for the woods. She pushed branches and tangled vines out of her way until she was able to find the foot path. But a snake was stretched out across it, so she turned quickly and searched for another way through the forest. Suddenly, she heard someone call out her name.
2) Dislocating or projecting body parts.
Yes, many writers actually do this in their stories.
The most common example of this is when characters’ eyes leave their bodies.
Here’s what I mean:
I was angry at my brother. I shot my eyes across the room at him and gave him a dirty look.
Was the poor brother left holding those eyeballs, or were they just stuck on the front of his shirt or something?
3) Dialogue that is punctuated incorrectly.
The most common example is when characters laugh words.
They simply can’t do this.
Try it yourself.
Can you laugh and speak at the same time?
Yet, when you use a comma to separate the dialogue tag from the dialogue itself, you are indicating the words were laughed.
Here’s an example:
“I’d never try that in a million years,” laughed Denise.
To avoid this mistake, simply use a period after the dialogue, creating two separate sentences.
“I’d never try that in a million years.” Denise laughed.
Each of these mistakes is easy to correct.
But now that you’re aware of them they should be easy to avoid in the first place!
Suzanne Lieurance is a freelance writer, author, and writing coach.
For more writing tips and resources for writers, visit writebythesea.com, and don’t forget to get your free subscription to The Morning Nudge.
This article was first published at: https://www.writersonthemove.com/2020/02/3-mistakes-to-avoid-when-writing-fiction.html
Whether you need help with ghostwriting or rewriting, or coaching, let me take a look at your children’s story. Just send me an email at: firstname.lastname@example.org. Please put “Children’s Writing” in the Subject box. Or, give me a call at 347—834—6700
Let’s get your idea off the launch pad or your outline into a publishable story today!
Or, if you’d rather give it a shot and do-it-yourself, check out my book, HOW TO WRITE A CHILDREN’S FICTION BOOK.
MORE ON WRITING FOR CHILDREN